Respite

 

I have unpacked my meagre, essential belongings and abandoned the electronic notebook for this handwritten one to save electricity which is in short supply here and also because it seems more in keeping with the spirit of the place.

My cell is sparsely furnished but clean and adequate. No shower, just a basin and large washing bowl with a jug. A small adjoining closet houses a composting toilet and several lidded buckets for various types of waste. An information sheet assures me that everything will be emptied each morning and that this task is rotated amongst volunteers who are here to learn about composting. I suddenly feel useful.

*

I'm writing by candlelight, so will be brief. This evening was charming. I joined my fellow traveller, whose name I now know is Petra, in the quadrangle outside our cells where we sat on a bench and watched the playing of the fountain which is the centre piece and saw the moon rise into a clear blue sky above the square. There were some stars we didn't bother to name but just sat in companionable silence, watching and listening. The birds' evensong was celestial, other guests stood or sat around the quadrangle quietly absorbing the peace of the evening until the tolling of a bell somewhere told us it was time to go and take our supper in the Long Hall.  Which was frugal, but delicious.

*

Now in the morning light I can write more. Petra is from further afield than I and younger. Her driving force is to become a herbalist and as part of her study will travel on, as I will, to Ghia, to learn with specialists about plants which grow wild and how to forage and make use of them. I reluctantly divulged my reason for going on to Ghia, knowing that this would make it real. Our ensuing conversation cemented my resolve that it must be what I want to do. 

Death doula isn't what I imagined I was born to do, but all the events leading up to my decision seem to point me in this direction. Speaking my intention out loud has made me feel lighter and I'm looking forward to taking a picnic and exploring the environs of this place before moving on to Ghia tomorrow. 

*